My beef with most MRI safety accreditation ‘requirements’ is that they aren’t really ‘requirements’ at all. Most are worded in the form of ‘develop standards to prevent this bad thing or the other.’

Well, my standard for responding to a cardiac arrest is to type all the particulars of the patient’s condition into the computer, then print it out, along with the unabridged medical history of that patient, go to the photocopier, reduce the collection of documents until it all fits on a piece of paper 1-inch wide by 3-inches long. Then I band that paper around the leg of a carrier pigeon, and tie a tiny magnifying glass to the other leg. Then I release the carrier pigeon, who flies to my 2nd cousin Flaco’s house. Flaco then hops on his bicycle rickshaw and takes the paper and magnifying glass to Kinkos, where he blows it up enough that it can be read. Then he rides the enlarged paper to his girlfriend, Sarah, who works as a 9-1-1 dispatcher, and she’ll send an ambulance.

That, my friends, is a standard, or policy. It’s godawful, unworkable, and subject to all manner of breakdowns, but it’s a policy. In contrast, I’d like to see…

“1. All MRI technologists must have current Basic Life Support (BLS) certification at the health care provider level.
2. Prospectively designate an area outside the MRI scanner room for emergent patient treatment / resuscitation.
3. Demonstrate and document emergency preparedness on at least an annual basis with a mock-code drill.
4. Upon the determination that a code event is occurring, immediately remove the patient from the MRI scanner room to the prospectively-designated treatment area, securing the MRI scanner room upon exit.
5. Immediately call for code-team, or paramedic response.”

That, my friends, is a measurable standard based on performance, and not on the existence of a sheaf of paper with “Manual” on the front cover.